Education woes.

I distinctly remember the day my 12th Board exam results had been out. The 28th of May,2006.Its been more than two years since then. But what happened on that day and the consequences of it, altered the course of my life.My results happened to stamp me as a 75% student. I had disappointed my parents, brother, friends, scores of others and more importantly myself. And today, in spite of being in a field which i am in love with, i still am fearful. Scared that i might just falter and disappoint again.

This is not just my story. It is the story of the millions of 15- 17 year olds who write their Boards every year.

The pressure starts early. For some, even as early as the 6th grade ! There are cousins i have, into whose brains it has been drilled that anything which was not a professional course was unacceptable. I remember the way there would be fights in their houses all the time, about the neighbour sita or gita who happened to get the top grades. They would say ' arrey, learn something from her, we're not spending all the money on coaching so that you come 3rd or 4th always'.And my poor cousin, who was just an above average student, began to struggle with the subjects her intelligence could just not handle.

I don't blame the girl. But i would blame the parents. The parents should be able to gauge the abilities of their children before expecting something extraordinary from them.The child has now a false notion that she can be the top in class and is disappointed in herself for not doing that well. This harms the child's self-confidence.

In today's time the competition has become so fierce that it is a crime to be an average student. Every one wants to be the top in class. Any percentage below a 90% is considered a disgrace. Parents want their dreams to be fulfilled through their children. One mother tells her son ' beta, i couldn't do my CA because of lack of opportunity, but you must become a CA.' She doesn't even think that probably the poor boy has an aptitude or love for chemistry instead.Once he is done with his tryst with CA, he curses his job and life, secretly wishing that some day he must work on chemistry again.

It is funny that an exam such as a board or an entrance has become something, by which a person is judged. Talent has taken a backseat and the mugging mania is in. Education is all about grades, ranks, seats and fame for the coaching institutes today.Its become a rat race. You learn like a parrot and get good grades or ranks and you're loved and adored by all, if you fail to do so, people look at you like scum. Even children whom i meet today are ashamed to share their marks if they're not in the 90s league.There is so much pressure from all sides. Pressure from parents, relatives, teachers, peers. And if you happened to be a bright student, the pressure increases multi fold. Under such circumstances it is more likely that the student may crumble. Proof for this is the increasing number of suicide cases amongst students.

These children are loosing out on the exposure that they need to receive in this age. They are missing out on the other aspects of learning. We can notice that none of these coaching institutes in the city have any play grounds or recreational activities. Even schools in our city, excepting some, have no playgrounds and consist of tall concrete buildings. These children are not even given the time to think, grow, analyse on their own. Its not about learning or understanding anymore.

It is between the age of 14 and 18 that the thinking and analysing process of a child matures and gains a certain stand. It is then that these children form opinions of the happenings around them. They begin to know what is acceptable and what is not. Thanks to these 'mugging' centres they are loosing out on that experience.

I don't say that it is wrong to achieve or wrong to work hard and get to the top. I'm definitely in favor of the children working hard and proving their mettle. But I would say that they would do a lot better than what they are now, sans the pressure.

The half-full way.

I really wonder why.

Why is it that as we keep ascending in a relationship, i'm not just talking about a romantic one, but also about frienship, the expectations are also on the rise ? Is it because we now begin to believe that the so and so person is now close enough for us to behave as we like with them ? Or is it because we now have complete confidence that no matter how rudely or badly you behave they will always 'understand' and just let it be ? Is it because we feel that now that we have gained the person's trust he/she will never desert us ? Are all these feelings just proving the age old saying that 'familiarity or proximity breeds contempt' ?

So, by these experiences, should we quit moving closer to anybody? Should we remain within the walls of our mind ? Shall we put an end to sharing emotions or experiences ? Should we inhibit ourselves from feeling that 'yaar, yeh toh apna hi hai' ?

I say NO.I would say that this is nothing but the manifestation of a bored mind. It might be true that 'proximity breeds contempt' but experience even says that 'proximity is the true predictor of love'. Lets just run this whole thing over again. The feelings that arise in our minds are necessarily the feelings that we want to feel. 'It is all in the perspective'.

If you want to think that the other person is trying to neglect you or purposely trying to be rude with you or avoid you, I beg you to think again. This person in question is the one with whom we have become close. Assumed that he's our own person. A person with whom we can share a bit of our lives. Instead of thinking that the person is willfully not agreeing to spend time with us, lets just think that may be the circumstances are not in favor of us being together or to even maintain contact. This way, we do ourselves and the other person a big favor. We prevent ourselves from brooding and sulking over a non-existent problem. We avoid unnecessary blame games. We also save a hell a lot of energy.This also prevents an otherwise imminent fight.

Its very simple. Look at things the 'half-full' way. Thats the easiest way to happiness. Both yours and your relationship's !