The canvas, called life

The biggest and most difficult decision is life always about, what we want to make of it. So, how do most of us take that call? How do we know what the right thing to do is or even to not do? How do we know that what we’re doing today will benefit us tomorrow? How do we know that we’ll be happy?

Now, let me try to answer all those questions to the best of my experience and knowledge.

The call. The trickiest thing ever, to be or not to be. This is perhaps the toughest one. I for one, never ever know, even till the last minute, and more often than not, just end up trusting my gut. I find this one so difficult, that once, out of sheer frustration, unable to discuss or argue further about whether to do or not, I simply tossed a coin.

Heads, I do it. Tails, I don’t.

At other, more sensible and sane times, I call up my closest friends, and pour my heart out to them, and let them give me inputs and then decide. And sometimes, I just blindly follow the societal norm of what’s expected and do it. So many different ways for just one person to decide.

But that is the nature of the hurdles life throws to us. Sometimes, it’s an easy catch, and sometimes we need to dive, and scrape our elbows for it!

The next hurdle is always after you take the call, whether the call we’ve taken is right or not. Now, that’s something that we have no way of knowing before taking the call. Some decisions on the face of it appear to be the most correct, but might not be so in reality, while others may appear to be not so good, but might benefit us the most!

So, what I believe is that only 50% of the decision is ever completely in our hands, for the other 50%, we just need to take a leap of faith. Which means, jump first, and pray real hard that there be a cushion underneath!

In short, what I mean to say is that let your life take you places, but then once there, you always have the choice of what you’re going to make out of it. From there on courage, determination, discipline and love help us make our lives.

Our life is like an empty canvas, life gives us the assortment of paints that we’re to use on it, to make it beautiful and fruitful. Now, it’s our choice what kind of shades we choose to paint on it, and in what way. We may just splash random colours, and make a mess of it, or plan ahead, choose the right shades, and make a gorgeous painting out of it.

And what’s to happen when the paint runs out? No worries, life will always give us the option to open a whole new set of paints, with different shades, they might be different from what we’ve used before, but there’re also paints.

Wonder who’s the paintbrush in the entire scenario?

Some people like to call it destiny, some fate, and some others like to call him God. Just like the paintbrush helps to transfer the paint onto the canvas, God/fate/destiny helps us to find our path in life.

So, don’t fret if life isn’t a smooth ride right now. It might be a bumpy ride right now, but yes, Life will take us to that special place, and we’ll make it a haven, a wonderful place of our own, and carve out our niche.

A little something I drew for a Friend's birthday

For a friend who'd been there for me always, in my best and worst times, I felt that just buying something wouldn't give me the satisfaction. So, I decided to sit down, and sketch a little something for him, have it framed, and sent. This is what I sketched, and yes, my friend loved it :)

Know Thyself

Okay. No.

 This is plain weird. I have never ever directly typed out whatever came out of my mind, and posted it. I don't know why I feel like doing this today. I  can't point my finger at the 'why' and answer it. But I sure do know that something is amiss. I normally don't crave for so much of company. I have been quite a loner, and don't really mind my own company. Sometimes, I'd rather be alone than in someone's company. Today is different, I have absolutely no idea, why I feel this way.

 This is how it is. The mind is such a malicious thing. It makes us feel, such a variety of things and that too for no apparent sensible reason. I cannot possibly fathom the cause of this disturbance. Sometimes, I wish that we could sit face to face, and have a frank conversation with our minds to know what was exactly going on. 

Picture this: Mr.Mind and me, are sitting across the table, at a coffee shop, sipping coffee, and I ask him, "Hi mind, why are you behaving in this weird, inexplicable fashion?".

Sigh.Wish.

But then, here I am, with my laptop open, logged into blogger and typing out this article, straight from my volatile mind. It's not like I have nothing better to do. If I sat down this second to jot down all the work that I have to finish, I can assure you it'd be one really long list!

Then, Why am I here? Why am I typing this out?

I have a set of very close friends. Strangely, I don't feel like calling up any of them, and talking to them about this. Guess, this is something I want to talk to just myself about. Again, Sigh. Wish.

Well, the best way for me summarize it, is in poetry, so here goes:

Know Thyself

Are you playing with me now?

'what makes you think so?'

These moods,

those thoughts,

come on, you think

 I don't know your style?

'don't you go around,

fooling yourself this way!

knowing me, aint that easy,

you'd hope, beg and pray!'

You're the one fooling me,

confusing me,

and giving me a real tough time,

this way!

'cribbing won't take you

anyplace.

nor will engaging in a

litany.'

What else is there for me?

with you not even by my side.

Advice me, show me some

insight!

'calm down, soothe

those wild thoughts,

be aware, awaken,

take charge,

control me, let not me control you!

Know Thyself.'

Magic words, 

will they help?

'know thyself,

that's enough for all.'

Well, that answered all my questions didn't it. Simple solution, Calm down, think straight, take it slow, and most of all, know yourself. Know yourself well, and accept yourself first, for whatever you are.

Note: Everything single word in this post is truly unedited.

Arranged marriage ?

Arranged marriages. In India arranged marriages are so common, in fact 90% of marriages in India are still arranged. To an outsider, this might seem nothing short of scary!

To some people arranged marriage is a big no-no, while some consider it to be the last resort. Not able to find someone you like, or not able to make it worth with the people you do like, there you go, the arranged marriage is for you. This is not always the case. In my opinion, it is something new, something fresh, and change in life. Isn't it better to slowly eventually fall in love with the man you have married ? I'd like that, much more romantic anyday.

This video just puts my thoughts in action. Made by Nars Krishnamachari. A beautiful video.

Though this video does not actually represent the outcome or the process that every arranged marriage follows. It's a good one, and leaves you smiling to your self. 

Hide and Seek

Hide and seek.
Don't play hide and seek now,
the sun's about to sign off
for the day,
the moon's walking in,
our way.
I am tired now,
worried too,
Come on, come out, wherever you are,
stop making me run about,
I aint so young anymore, you see.
my sight's faltering,
and steps uncertain,
come on, come out, reveal yourself now.
why do you play,
so much in the dark, I say.
Show me yourself now,
Can't wait anymore.
You've made me weary in the day,
and hazy vision in the night,
Expose yourself,
and show me the way now.
You know,
you're the only respite,
to take me forward.
So, come on, come out, wherever you are!
Lead me away,
from these shadows,
show me the path of light,
bright and shiny.
Fill me,
with what you promised.
Hope.
Hope to live on,
move on,
achieve more,
bring sense,
meaningful.
Come on, come out, wherever you are!

Best sketch till date !

Okay. I have still not started classes in sketching, thanks to the bandh happening in my city :(. But, what I did do, is roll out my best sketch (in my opinion) till date, sitting at home. Here it is for your viewing pleasure !

Hope my readers like this one ! Do let me know ! Au Revoir !

Fathers

I have just returned from a short vacation in Kuwait, with my father. Though close, my father and me don't agree much on many accounts. In spite of our various differences, and arguments, I truly had an awesome time with my father.  Thus decided to sit down, and write a poem about how much my father meant to me. Here it is :

“Papa”
One of the first words I said,
The one who read me those
Bed-time stories,
Answered my very many queries,
Carried me in his arms,
On his shoulders, chest and head,
The only one who could,
Put me to bed.

“Dad ! Dad! Come quick!”
The one who took me places,
To dance class, music class,
And helped me win those Aces.
Taught me Math, and Science,
And helped me make my Mark.
The only Man behind my success,
And the only Man standing,
In my losses.

“Dad, I know this. I’ll handle it.”
The one who stood patiently,
And impatiently,
Understanding,
And not Understanding,
Worried, concerned, and petrified,
Granting independence,
Watching his lil girl,
Bloom.

“Dad! I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
The one who consoled,
Wiped those tears, and said those soothing,
Yet, criticising words.
Convincing, of a better,
Brighter future, and highlighting,
All those good things you’ve done.

“Dad! I’ll miss you.”
The one who understood the most,
Missing you in equal measure,
Hiding those tears, while,
Wiping yours.
Praying, and Wishing,
That the New Man, would love,
And care for you, much more
Than he did.

“Dad, what do I do?”
The one who answered your,
Questions about life,
Discussed, argued and even fought.
Helped make some of the best decisions.

“Dad! Isn’t she beautiful?”
The one who first carried your little angel,
Just like he’d carried you,
Thinking about how his lil girl,
Is all grown up now.
And reminiscing all those,
wonderful times,
His lil girl had given him.

This poem comes straight from my heart, dedicated to all fathers. Dad, I Miss You. Love you :) Truly enjoyed these 10 days with you.

Fruit of sheer Boredom

Its been more than a week, since I have come on this vacation to Kuwait. Kuwait is where I have done my schooling, and spent most time in my life. But without my friends here, or school to look forward to here, boredom had taken charge of my life. In order to yawn it away, I just picked up a pencil and a sketch pad. This is what lay in front of me after two hours.

This is my first sketch after more than a year. Hah. High time I went back to sketching classes to learn, and improve my technique.

Do let me know of your thoughts on this one :)

Awesome !

I am incredibly happy ! Though a little upset over some aspects, over all, I am Happy, and Content. It was a decent show, and I have recieved some fabulous appreciation, and also some criticism. I got cited, and covered by seven local newspapers ! And It all feels awesome !!

It is such an exhilarating feeling to have pursued a passion, and listen to some praises, comforting words, from the eminent people present, and the audienence alike. It was a proud moment for my parents, and I felt even more proud to have put them in those shoes.

Two pics of the event close to my heart :)

I want to thank evry single person who made this evening possible, and those who have been my support in every walk of life.

Thoughts unstoppered.

It has been such a long time since I've written anything about the happennings in my life. So, today, I just suddenly had this thought. There is so much going on in my life at the moment, I just so, have to document it!

I am incredibly excited about the dance performance that's coming up. I am also at the same time, so tensed, whether I shall be able to recreate the magic on stage, even today, 4 years from my last performance. I have worked so very hard for just this moment in time. I have put in every effort, and worked up every cell in my body for this one. I desperately want this  to work. I crave the stage, and spotlight once again, but am also fearful whether I shall be able to utilise, and showcase my talent or not.  I am even losing my appetite! Mixture of  all these emotions makes me want to write a poem to put it all out ( may be 'cause, I seem to express myself much better in poetry, than in any other form of expression).

So I go ahead, and get a pen, and a paper( sounds much better than saying, I just opened MS word :D), to write that poem, and get those thoughts out. Here is what I ended up with.

Overwhelming.
Thats what all this is.
I remember,
may be you've forgetten,
but oh yes, I do.
The sound still rings in my ears,
and what sound!
The most beautiful one
could yearn for.
Applause.
Crave for it, we all do.
Spotlight, upon me.
Center of attaraction.
Appreciation showered, by all alike.
All of six years.
Today, almost eons later,
I yearn, crave, and want,
everything again.
But, Worry, Nerves,
envelope me,
Will I shine once more?
Or, will I loom dark?
Then, the tiny voice,
I hear,
"Leave it to the Lord, my love,
Leave it all to him."
Peace. Confidence. Acceptance. Courage.
Fill my heart.

Well those are my thoughts, out and about now. I feel so much lighter, and happy to have shared all this with you. I truly feel at peace. And woah ! Looks like I just got my appetite back, am going to go and grab a sandwich now. Chao !